Thursday, October 20, 2016

two cents.

Photo stolen from Buzzfeed, here. If it's a problem, I'll take it down immediately.

Dear friends,

As you are aware, I generally try to keep this blog light and fluffy and fun, and, with few exceptions, keep my own personal politics personal.

However.

In light of the nature of the election occurring in my homeland--you may have heard something about it--I feel compelled to put pen to paper, so to speak. This has been weighing on my heart and my head and has cost me much sleep, and I've always found that if I write about things, I feel better. So. Regardless of whether this influences anyone--I'm looking at you, undecideds and "ooh, how 'bout a third party!" people--here I go.

To you all: in light of what's at stake here, and however horrible and polarizing this campaign, while I understand that neither candidate is particularly palatable, this is unequivocally not the year to try and make a statement by voting third-party or write-in. Trust me, as a contrarian, a third-party voter in years past, and someone who seriously considered it again this year (at least for a while, anyway), this is a difficult pronouncement for me to make. We need the ability to recall and replace Congress* when they waste our time and money by doing nothing, nothing, and more nothing, and we certainly need more than two parties in our hopelessly broken system.

But people, THIS IS NOT THE YEAR TO MAKE THAT POINT. OR TO NOT VOTE.

Let me explain why.

So, I am not much a fan of Hillary. I dearly, deeply want our country to have a female president someday, but she strikes me as somewhat untrustworthy and dishonest and impersonal. She's done some dumb, careless, shady things (that stupid email server! her involvement [or lack thereof] with Benghazi! those previously unreleased Wall Street speeches, which, apparently, contained nothing of note, go figure! and now this stupid quid pro quo thing! her connection to the Clinton Foundation is a wee bit questionable!), and I've heard interviews with her that make me distrust her (boy, can she dodge a direct answer!). That having been said: I voted for her (thanks, early voting in Colorado!). She is smart, hard-working, experienced, even-tempered, tough as nails, completely innocent of wrongdoing both in the Benghazi and email scandals (and after 3 years' worth of investigation, no less), and God knows how she's managed to remain classy, given the nature of her opponent and his campaign.

Which is really what I'm here to talk about today. I'd like to consolidate here, in one handy-dandy primer, all of the reasons why, whatever your feelings about Hillary, you cannot, as a person with a conscience, aspirations of being a decent person, or a modicum of concern for your country, children, and fellow Americans, vote for that man. He's a bad person and an even worse candidate for president.

Let me explain why.

(Fair, and entirely serious, warning: the language in some of the following videos is very much not safe for work. Or for anyone with a sense of decency, frankly. But on we trudge.) (And also, before you go off shouting "liberal bias!," of course there is. You know that. [And also, if you need a subscription to the Washington Post in order to read all of this, get it. I'm happy to reimburse your dollar the next time I see you. They're having a sale.] But I've made every effort to support my opinion with facts; to the best of my non-investigative-journalist abilities, all of the following links contain facts that are matters of public record, are documented, and are things the man has, in real life, been recorded saying or doing.)
  • The man lies. Provenly. Over and over. As in, constantly. As in, there are so many documented instances of this that it would take months to compile a complete list, although I doubt one could keep up at the rate he's spewing fallacies. He's not telling you anything like it is, people.
  • Relatedly, he obfuscates. In particular, he refuses to release those tax returns, and flat-out lies in claiming that the IRS won't let him. (There is no such law, as Warren Buffett--noted actual successful businessman--can attest.) Most recently, he has refused to discuss whether he'll accept the outcome of the election. (But a bit more about that later.)
  • He is a violence- and hate-monger. It feels insane to have to point out how many videos exist of his supporters shouting horrible, violent, racist things and physically attacking protesters...and the candidate himself encouraging it (skip to 9:35), as well as off-handedly suggesting that "the Second Amendment people" do something about Hillary's stance on gun control. His campaign has created an environment in which hate speech and bigotry have gone public, on record, without fear or apology.  He brings out the worst in people on both sides of the aisle by playing to the basest fears of the ignorant and by insulting and devaluing one of America's greatest features--its cultural diversity. Being a melting pot is a good thing. You want to see blatant hate and racism in the post-Brexit vein, vote for this man.
  • Trump displays an obvious disregard for the First Amendment. Apparently, freedom of speech is only applicable to himself and his supporters (about some of whom "deplorable" is absolutely the nicest thing one could say). Protesters at his rallies are regularly, violently removed (see above, again), and journalists who disagree with him or have anything remotely negative to say about him, his policies, and his campaign are placed on his "blacklist." Trump also wants to "open up" libel laws to allow him to sue any press organization, for any reason. (Truth be damned, apparently.) 
    • His version of "religious liberty" sounds an awful lot like suppression of religious freedom in favor of establishing a Christian nation (skip to 2:40), and he wants to repeal the 1954 Johnson Amendment, which disallows political endorsement from tax-exempt entities (e.g., churches). It may not be on everyone's radar, but it's near and dear to me, and it's patently clear that Trump is talking about destroying the separation of church and state--entirely essential to a modern democracy--in order to gain the evangelical vote. 
  • He's a cheat and a fraud. If you think he's "looking out for the little guy," you are beyond sorely mistaken. Without remorse, he takes advantage quite often of people with little money, because his only concern is his own fortune. As though $5.1 billion isn't enough.
  • If you are a Christian or conservative values voter who traditionally votes straight-ticket Republican, it should be painfully obvious by this time that Trump does not share your morals and family values (again, see his number of marriages and treatment of women; his record of fraud and misuse of charity funds; his encouragement of hate speech and of violence; and his refusal to pay workers). Shockingly, even Glenn Beck says that it's the "'moral, ethical choice" to oppose Trump, and 'Christianity Today' accuses Trump of "blatant immorality."
    • His stances on guns and the Second Amendment and on abortion (he was staunchly pro-choice until 2011--the last time he considered running for president), and even his supposed Christianity (which, shockingly, is brand new, according to one Dr. James Dobson), are clearly matters of political expediency;
    • he's pro-torture; 
    • on LGBTQ issues, he's rather ambivalent; 
    • plenty of prominent, experienced Republican leaders have stated their opposition to him (here are just a few);
    • and hey, if you're worried about Hillary's ability to push through the "liberal agenda," don't. Congress apparently plans to cooperate with her on supreme court nominations just as well as they cooperated with Obama.
  • The man is a massive and outright hypocrite. He insists repeatedly that Hillary is a liar, despite being proven to exist in a state of near-constant dishonesty himself, and he insists on inserting Bill Clinton's indiscretions into the political discourse--even going so far as to hold a press conference with them and invite them to the debate--while insisting that his own accusers' accounts are "fiction," "fabricated" and "never happened." (On a related note, TRUMP HAS YET TO UNDERSTAND THE FACT THAT BILL IS NOT RUNNING AGAIN. Bill's actions are his own and have zero bearing on this election BECAUSE IT'S HER CAMPAIGN.)
  • Trump has zero political experience. None. While this may make him seem like an exotic and exciting outsider, the fact that he has never held any office of any kind makes him qualified to run nothing other than his own fan club. How will he "fix the economy"? How will he get Mexico to pay for that wall? How will he put China in its place? How would one go about "extremely" vetting immigrants from certain threatening "regions"? And so on, and so forth. A qualified leader would make no such ridiculous (much less offensive) claims and would propose actual, concrete policies for implementing real-world solutions. Trump's combination of steadfast refusal to prepare at all for the debates--as one might be expected to prepare for meetings with world leaders, or security or economic advisors, or with Congresspeople, say--and complete lack of, and disregard for, experience portend a frightening, terrible road ahead.
  • He might just kill democracy as we know it in America. If he wins, his desired suppression of the First Amendment could potentially lead to the death of the free press and destroy our country's freedom of religion, but if he loses the potential for destruction is limited only by his rabid supporters' ability to wreak it. Trump's paranoid, preemptive-sore-loser talk of conspiracy and voter fraud (actually uncommon) and his current threats to not accept the results of the election will have serious consequences, especially amongst his more outspoken (to be polite) supporters. These threats run one hundred percent counter to the aforementioned tradition of "peaceful transition of power" in our country. I've thought for some years now that the U.S.A., with all its faults, still has this amazing thing going for it: we can have actual free and open elections after which, whatever the outcome, no one gets killed, there are no wars, and we accept the result, however unhappy we are, and life continues on. Trump and his band of idiot thugs are actively threatening to put an end to civility and to faith in our democracy.
  • And finally, THAT DULL, CREAMSICLE-COLORED, SMUG, SLEAZY, DEAD-FISH, POUTY, ARROGANT, DOUGHY, JOWLY, ASKING-TO-BE-PUNCHED RACCOON FACE AND ROADKILL-TOUPEE HAIR. Who of sane mind goes outside looking like that, much less allows themselves to be filmed and photographed? Much worse, is proud of it?? Good Lord, if you believe that you can stand to look at that visage for the next four years, then God have mercy on you and yours. 
Well. That turned out to be far rantier, and far closer to ten dollars than to two cents, than I'd intended...but here's the bottom line: if you value the freedoms we are constitutionally guaranteed in America; if you value genuine (if sometimes addled) democracy; if you are a woman, or have women in your life whom you love and respect; if you are any color besides lily white (or, in Trump's case, bronzed tangerine) and value your heritage; if you prize the amazing diversity present in our country; and if you are anyone other than an entitled, fat, condescending, ignorant, one-percenter, white male, then this "man" is not your candidate. He respects and values none of these things and is looking out for no one but himself.

Electing him--even just voting for him--legitimizes the hate, the bigotry, the racism, the xenophobia, the misogyny, the sexism, and all of the other filth spewed by him and by his supporters. Making excuses for perhaps his misleading tax proposals or stories about the size of his fortune or even his experience is forgivable, but excusing any of the rest is not. He will certainly damage, if not destroy, many of the things I--and probably you--love about our country.

And while I understand entirely the idea of voting third-party on principal, this is not the time. We cannot, absolutely must not, put Trump into the White House.

I suggest voting instead for the candidate who can actually beat him.✣ And may turn out to be a decent president as well.






*Whom, with exceptions here and there, appear to me as grossly overpaid, vastly underperforming wastrels who missed the day in kindergarten where we learned about "cooperation," and never got the memo that they're supposed to be serving the public, not special interests. (Yeah, I said "wastrel." What.)

**Whether you agree that his subsequent avoidance of taxes makes him "smart," it cannot be disputed that in doing so he both withheld money from the government he wishes to lead--not a quality I look for in the president of our great nation--and placed more of the tax burden squarely on the shoulders of everyone else. You, me, the middle class, the Common Man, that "little guy" whose best interests Trump purportedly has at heart. How that fact has not been absorbed by the people who rejoice about his proposed tax cuts is beyond me.***

***Just a quick note about taxes in the US, for my readers outside of it: the only way our government functions is with the help of tax money from all of its citizens. If people are in any way concerned about their children's schools; the arts; local and national roads, bridges, and infrastructure; sanitation services like garbage collection and water treatment; parks; law enforcement, corrections, and fire services; health care services; the military; functioning (well, sometimes...) government institutions; and higher education...then they should absolutely want to pay taxes. These things aren't free, and by cutting taxes on anyone, these services lose money. It's a very basic concept, but one that obviously needs to be pointed out in a very basic way to a very lot of irrational people right now.

****I love this take on it. "Is that how you talk? Is that how your dad talks? Is that how your pastor talks?" (Just FYI, this video will most likely offend you, on some, if not several, levels. But it's so delightfully pointed.)

✣Whoa...did I even need to write this post? Amen, Brother Reich. Amen.

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Wednesday, October 12, 2016

food, glorious food. (or, that time we ate the whole summer.)

Hello, my dears. I'd apologize for my absence as per usual, but it really has been that quiet around here since June. But man, oh man, have I got some food talk for you! And a few other items that may or may not be of interest...but mainly, foooood. So here's all the news that's fit to print in my little Zürich-food scene-obsessed world.

Starting with (a mere two years after its opening) my discovery in March of an actual decent Mexican restaurant in this city! I present to you the takeout containers from my first order from La Taqueria, whose smiley faces and the food inside (legit street tacos! tasty black beans with no curry powder in sight! delicious guacamole! an actual spicy pepper-tomato soup!) made me very, very, very happy.

Hee. (Wait...it only now occurred to me that this might mean I can get decent guacamole year-round...!)

Next up came an excellent brunch with our friends Yannick and Nina (and a ginormous bottle of pink champagne for Yannick's birthday) at the Tastelab, a nifty pop-up on the terrace of ETH, which had a fantastic view...

...and pretty darn good food. (Smoked salmon! asparagus! poached eggs! cheeses, breads, yogurts, fruits, coffee, juices! and other things I forgot! Man, is brunch great.)

And speaking of pop-ups, in June, there appeared the artsy little Ristorante Zampano about a 5-minute walk from our apartment, in yet another building that was, I think, about to be razed and/or converted into something else. Whatever the case, the pop-up people had cut a massive arch in the wall between two glass-front garages and made a temporary, art-filled restaurant for our enjoyment. Of which there was a great deal, especially since we went with a group of eight dear friends. Food's so much better shared!

The menu: that amuse bouche turned out to be tiny, perfectly salt-baked new potatoes with bergamot-butter sauce, hemp seeds, and chives. Next came (all at once, and family-style) roasted cabbage wedges with walnut sauce and apples; cucumber ribbons with local lake fish and sorrel dressing; chicken hearts and livers in a spinach salad with grilled onions, elder flowers, and savory (as in, the herb) dressing. The between-course was a risotto made of sunflower seeds (yummo!) with mountain cheese and larch (very piney); and then came thinly-sliced seared beef with cauliflower, basil, and parsnips (...I think...); and finally, pistachio mousse with frozen crumbled strawberries and these little salty cookie bits. Followed by a plate of tiny salted chocolate cookies and excellent espresso. Yum, yum, yum, and yum.

And then, my friends, it was July. I'm sure I've said this before, but it bears repeating that I love summer in this city. Everything and everyone moves outdoors, and every third year comes the mother of all parties: Züri Fäscht. It's three days long, and the entire city center is closed to traffic and filled with food, drink, music, and all manner of performances and games and festivities. (Air shows! A midway! Two giant ferris wheels! Aquatic cars! High diving! Slack-lining over the river! Dragon boat races and races for boats made of plastic bottles! Bands! Dances and dancers! A surfing contest and demonstration, I kid you not! And jillions of other things that I can't remember.) But most importantly, perhaps, if you can find it--this year, it was on the Lindenhof, which was a muddy swamp, but WORTH IT--there's some good eatin' to be had.


OH YEAH...and this year, there was a Swiss rap group up there, too. (I don't know why, but it's so hard for me to take this seriously.)

We could see most of the air shows--at least three per day--from our rooftop.

Helicopters in formation: not nearly as fast and flashy as the planes, but have you ever seen that before? I hadn't.

Fish 'n chips, starring Nemo. Hah!*

Spotted on the Cornish pasty wagon: "New, and here only! Tattoo enlargement via good eating." Heh. (We did eat here, though; shared a spicy beef-and-veg one. These people do good work.)

Excellent African curry with lamb, eggplant, peppers, onions, and coconut rice.

Sadly, we'd begun eating this plate of Ethiopian awesomeness before it occurred to me to photograph its glory. (Various curry-like items with cabbage, spinach, lentils, pumpkin, and some super savory beef, atop injera bread. Sooooooooo good!)**

Random glowy bar along the river.

Massive midway at Bellevueplatz.

This year, they had three different fireworks displays, the last of which was at 1:30 in the morning. (The noise! The horror! So very un-Swiss.) Each display was set to music, so there was one with movie tunes, one with pop songs, and that last one was the "rock" show. Which was hilarious, since they had to turn off half the speakers due to the lateness of the hour. So it wasn't terribly rockin' at all. They were, however, three excellent displays, and we all know how I love me some fireworks. (Sigh. Until 2019, Züri Fäscht!)

Very shortly thereafter (as in, two days...!) came our next pop-up with the glorious Wood Food people, who do all of their cooking with wood and fire and smoke, and/or include elements of trees and wood made edible. I know it sounds a little weird, but their food is astoundingly good, and the venues always fantastic.

This one was in the rather artistically-graffitied LangstrassenKultur building, which I kinda loved.

Look at the inside!

And ohhhh, that menu. The "Picknick" was grilled bread with Douglas fir butter, schmalz with spruce, pickled veggies, sausage with Swiss pine, and beef stomach with wood vinegar (that last kinda like a terrine, and way tastier than it sounds!), followed by the "fresh-from-the-region" grilled salad with smoked fish from Lake Zürich. The family-style tavolata included wild purslane salad with buffalo yogurt; tomatoes with peach, goat cheese, and pickled elderflowers; fermented potatoes; broad beans with herbs and kombu; flank steak with "forest salsa;" and wee little mushrooms with berries. For dessert (here, "barefoot in the forest," awww) there was fir ice cream with forest berry soup and quark (essentially, unsalted ricotta). I'll admit that bits and pieces of these menus always sound a little bizarre, but EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS SOOOOO GOOD. (Kinda wish they'd have another of these dinners, like, NOW.)

To top things off, we were seated next to a very sweet Swiss couple who were celebrating their anniversary, and invited us to drinks at a bar around the corner afterwards. The evening was gorgeous, the drinks tasty, and the company superb. (They didn't know us from random strangers on the street, but spent their anniversary evening with us of their own accord. So lovely.) 

Next up (again, two-ish days later!) was our annual BBQ for the rugby team, for which Mike always cooks insane amounts of meat. This year it was 4 kilos of pulled pork in the sous vide, 5 kilos of smoked chicken, and 7 kilos of smoked brisket. 

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmeat... (Sadly, the pulled pork didn't photograph quite so tastily.)

And food-extravaganza July certainly was not finished with us yet. In other food-related miscellanea, I discovered that the American Food Avenue--previously an online-only store--had opened an actual brick-and-mortar storefront right down the street from my dentist. Oh, sure, there were plenty of amazing goodies like Reese's peanut butter chips and butterscotch chips for baking, and Frank's Hot Sauce, and Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix...

...BUT WOULD YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THAT WALL OF CHIPS?? So very, very many Cheetos, heretofore unavailable to us in Switzerland. God bless American Food Avenue.***

July also brought with it three weeks of Street Food Festival, each week of which had a different lineup of vendors. So, naturally, we went once each week. I mean really, what else should one be expected to do in that situation?

Our friend Jasmin tried out her French-Indian fusion booth for the first time, and fed us a killer veggie wrap, some delicious fried aubergine and potatoes, and our first-ever pani puri. Yummmmm.

Making a second appearance, MORE ETHIOPIAN FOOD. Yellow and green lentils, spicy red lentils, green chicken curry, SPICY beef curry, pickled veggie salad, and a legitimately spicy red sauce to top it all off. Can't get enough of this stuff.

A happy man with his bread-cone full of sausage, bacon, sauerkraut, and curry sauce. (Not pictured: the beef and pork street tacos and Japanese fried chicken we also shared that day.)

Not kidding about going back every week. This time, we met up with our friends Pascal and Sonia and got to share even more. The list: ceviche (gahhhhhhhh, so good!!); beef dumplings in both Afghan (with yogurt and lentils in tomato sauce) and Shanghai (dim sum) styles; an Argentinian ham and cheese empanada...

...Honolulu sweet/spicy hot dog with sriracha, mango sauce, shredded cabbage, and cashews...

...fresh-fried potato chips; Tibetan momos (more dumplings...); a steamed beef bun (fluffy, bread-like wrap-thing); a Salvadoran pupusa filled with beef, beans, and cheese; a sabich (at long last! I have slavered over these since the first time I read about them! it's fried flatbread filled with fried eggplant, boiled egg slices, hummus, and some variety of crunchy salad, and I even had them throw a little fresh cheese in there); and last, but not least, a vegetarian corn/zucchini taco and a chorizo taco on homemade blue-n-white tortillas. A grand, grand feast, my friends.

On week 3, we met up with Nanda and René for our final round. We tried out the lamb kottu rotti...

...dinner and a show! these guys are all choppy and clangy while they cook the kottu rotti, a Sri Lanka street food chopped meat-veggie-egg-combo that they serve with various sauces and bread...

...a delicious meatball-and-mashed potatoes thing, wrapped in a steamed cabbage leaf; a tequila beef taco with cucumbers; a Korean hot dog on a black bun, topped with kimchi, minced beef, crispy onions, and chopped peppers; a Honduran baleada (flat bread topped with guacamole, beans, corn, peppers salsa and cheese, kinda like a quesadilla but waaaay better); an Iranian wrap with eggplant/tomato puree, garlic/yogurt/parsley sauce and salad...

...another steamed bun, this time with pork...

...and finally, a wee bowl of Brazil's national dish, fejoada, with which I am totally obsessed. (Black beans, beef and pork, various veggies, served with rice, salad, and this one had these crunchy breadcrumb things for topping. UGH, SO GOOD!)

I feel like I should take the briefest of moments here, to mention the venue of this particular Street Food festival. It was basically a big dirt lot in a sorta-industrial part of town, on the site of a former train station. With all of the lights and colors and signage here, though, someone did a great job of making this particular big dirt lot feel very festive and welcoming.

And speaking of welcoming, next on the list was a Cuban pop-up called "Casa Havana." Holy crap, what a location--right on Weinplatz, overlooking Hotel Storchen and the river and the square! 

The inside was terribly adorable.

And while the menu wasn't anything too spectacular, it was solidly good. (And the mojitos, great.) At the bar they were serving these chicken skewers and homemade plantain chips with garlic, and then we moved to our tables. We started with ceviche and chips with salsa, and fill-your-own tacos with beef, excellent guacamole, and roasted peppers; then came the roasted beef with saffron veggie rice, aioli, and salsa; and then flan with fruit and wee little chocolates. (We opted to have our dessert sitting in a windowsill in the bar, since the indoor cigar-smoking had begun. Turned out to be an excellent choice, as we not only got the evening breeze, but chatted with the friendly bar staff as well.)

And finally, to close out our fantastically foodie month (and get in some more fireworks, because FIREWORKS!!!), we headed to Schaffhausen to catch their August 1 fireworks (but, you know, on July 31...) over Europe's largest waterfall. 

We'd heard that Schaffhausen is quite lovely. And now we know: it definitely is.

It's got a bunch of these ridiculously-fancily-painted-and-plastered buildings from the 16th and 17th centuries...
...thusly...

...and is rightly famed for its gorgeous oriels--those little bay-window-like boxes that stick out from the buildings. There are 171 of them in the city, which is astounding, considering that we walked around the entire old town of Schaffhausen in about 15 minutes.

There's also a hill in the middle of the city topped with the Munot, a 16th-century circular fortress. Its name probably derives from the German words for "no need," as the city was only besieged once, in 1799, and the fortress fell into ruin afterwards. Interestingly, it was saved by the efforts and private funding of one man, who also paid for its restoration in the 19th century.

The grounds around the fortress are lined with vineyards...

...and in its moat area, there's a herd of these little spotted deer. They were all napping when we got there.

Inside the base of the fortress are these amazing casemates.

And then you climb this nifty spiral staircase to get to the top...

...from which the view is not terrible. (Schaffhausen: really, really pretty.)

After a bit more exploration of that amazing little old town, we headed into Neuhausen am Rhein to find some dinner at the little festival there and to scope out the setting for the fireworks. We noshed on some Thai noodles with veggies, shrimp, and bamboo shoots, then tried out the extraordinarily fresh fried fish from the local fisheries collective. (Mmmmmm!) While we were eating, we stumbled across this magnificent cover band playing what sounded eerily like the playlist from a night at Karaoke from Hell. It was crazy-nostalgic, but also genuinely impressive: you've gotta have some guts, and no shortage of talent, to cover AC/DC (we heard 'TNT' and 'Highway to Hell'), White Snake, Black Sabbath ('Crazy Train'!), Brian Adams ('Summer of '69'), Bon Jovi ('Runaway'), and even Die Toten Hosen ('Hier Kommt Alex'). Uncannily like KFH. (Unfortunately, the video I took of 'TNT' was contaminated by a rather enthusiastic couple making out in the corner. Ew. No need to share that with the rest of you.)

And then we braved the already-massed crowds (a good 2 hours before the show began!) to find a spot with a decent view. Which we definitely had, although we had to stake our claim pretty fiercely. Ah well, at least the falls were huge and impressive, and the post-downpour sky was cooperating to give us a little pre-show of its own.

There were also these crazy people slack-lining over the falls! (There's one in a green shirt right in the middle, and the bright orange speck to the left on the island had just finished going across and back.)

Once it got fully dark, the show began, and holy wow, what a show. The fireworks themselves were great, and combined with the roaring of the falls, it was quite something. (They even shot off all the larger fountains from the island itself!) The only problem was the smoke...

...which got so thick that they actually paused the show for several minutes to let it dissipate. (It was at this point in time that we were hugely grateful we'd opted to stand on the flat ground in front of the falls. The poor suckers who stood on the path leading down from the town were directly in the trajectory of the smoke, which was not going anywhere quickly.)

You can hear Mike commenting on that at the beginning of this video. But mainly, LOOK HOW BIG THOSE FIREWORKS ARE. And also, MASSIVE WATERFALL. Yesssssssss.

At the end, they turned on all of the normal nighttime lights around the falls, but lit up one side with a bunch of red flares, and projected the Swiss flag onto the castle-like building on the other. Very dramatic.

After the show, we headed back into Neuhausen to find a few more snacks, which turned out to be arancini (fried, filled rice balls from Sicily) with beef Bolognese and pea filling; a helping of tomato risotto with truffle, roasted seeds, paprika, and dried chives; and popcorn from MY NEW FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD:

Popppy, the popcorn machine. Once you select salty or sweet, this thing not only pops your popcorn fresh and on-demand, but dispenses to you, in a flattened state, the little cardboard box into which said popcorn falls. You have about 10 seconds to open out the box and put it back into the machine before your popcorn starts coming out, and it's tremendously exciting and makes pretty good popcorn. (If you could just buy one of these things outright, I ALREADY WOULD HAVE. But it's all done through STUPID LICENSING. Boooooo.)

Well. Although I do have a lot more to write about--considering how whiny I've been this year about not traveling, that comes as a bit of a surprise to me--I'll wind this up here with a little What We're Watching/Reading/Eating, since that stuff has all fallen WAY away...

What We're Watching: um, pretty much anything that's not too crappy. 'Shameless' (the one with William H. Macy, on Showtime) is about a large, dysfunctional, but scrappy family with an absolutely worthless, but mostly entertaining, alcoholic father. It's hilarious and sad and heart-warming and infuriating and brilliant, but definitely not one for the kids. (not. at. all.) 'Brooklyn 99,' because Andy Samberg + Andre Braugher = most hilarious comedy duo ever. This show is always funny. And speaking of which, 'Modern Family' has yet to have a slow season. Also always hilarious. 'The Blacklist' has been around for a while, but we're just now catching on. If you like action/mystery/suspense, this one's pretty decent, and the smug/remorseless/wildly entertaining James Spader is great here. Awww, and one show that we've just now found, but which has--astoundingly! heartbreakingly!--only one season is 'The Grinder,' about a TV lawyer whose show has ended, and so he crashes in on his actual-lawyer-brother's life in order to transition to law in real life. Because, you know, he already has so much experience. (Seriously, this show is amazing and clever and hysterically funny. I cannot believe it didn't get picked back up!) And, of course, 'Stranger Things,' because everyone's seen it now. Totally creepy, of course, but those kids are some pretty good actors. (I even liked Winona in this.)

What I'm Reading: not going to kid you, I dabbled for a bit in fiction, and blazed through all the Sookie Stackhouse books in about a month. Somewhat silly, certainly violent, and not a little trashy, I actually adored those books. And was genuinely sad when I finished the series off. Before that, I, as usual, had both feet planted firmly in the realm of nonfiction, and somehow got into reading books about diving, a thing I'll never, ever do, seeing as how THE OCEAN IS FULL OF THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO TRY TO EAT YOU. (That's an obvious fact, people.) However. Reading about reefs and sharks and shipwrecks is pretty darn fascinating, so I read 'Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda,' and 'Sharks, Fights, and Motorbikes,' both by John Kean, and both about diving (and living) in Sharm el Sheikh, Egypt. Entertaining stories, to be sure, but I'm not actually that second book was edited in any way. (Which seems to be a growing trend in e-books these days. Not a fan.)**** Preceding those were 'Shadow Divers,' by Robert Kurson, about a team of deep-wreck divers trying to identify a newly-discovered shipwreck, and 'Setting the Hook: A Diver's Return to Andrea Doria,' by Peter M. Hunt, about a diver revisiting a famous (and dangerous) deep shipwrecks twenty years after his first dive there. The book first I can recommend, the second not as much...but what's funny here is that I read these books in succession without realizing that the second was written by a rival of the author of the first. (As in, you get opposing viewpoints on a few of the same people and events in each book, and it's rather entertaining.) I also read 'Pirate Hunters: Treasure, Obsession, and the Search for a Legendary Pirate Ship,' also by Kurson, about a team of divers searching for a real pirate ship that went down off the coast of the Dominican Republic in the 17th century. (And you know that kind of story is in my wheelhouse!) Can recommend that one as well.

What We're Eating: lots of veggies, people, since kale and pumpkin and squash and Brussels sprouts are now in season! Wooo! (My poor husband, 'cause I can't stop cooking with all of this stuff. I'm kinda addicted to kale, and even more so when it's partnered with tomato sauce and white beans and basil.) And since I managed to get my hands on some fresh poblanos this year I've made these awesome stuffed peppers twice (although sans beer, 'cause I very much don't like it, unless it's in a beef stew). I even accidentally cooked a vegan meal the other night, but it was ok, because Mike survived it by being in Sicily and eating fresh seafood instead. (Actually, I thought it was delicious, and I've been able to use the leftover tahini sauce in hummus twice now...but word to the wise, whole-roasted eggplant is not good leftovers. Definitely, definitely make baba ganoush instead.) On the flip side of all those veggies, though, is the restaurant we've discovered near Limmatplatz: 4 Leoni, which is, against all odds, an actual branch of one of our favorite restaurants in Florence itself. It is staffed by lovely Italian people, who very kindly let us practice our terrible Italian with them, and the food is out. of. this. world. But mainly, Mike now knows where to go to get a reasonably-sized steak.

Stefano helping Mike select his bistecca Fiorentina. The excitement was palpable.

And I'm not even to August yet, folks. 

Next up: a quick trip to London (woooooo!); a quick trip to the US; and--surprise!--more food adventures.









*"And for an extra CHF 10, we'll throw in some deep-fried Sebastian crabs and a little Flounder!"...is the logical next step here.

**Not pictured in this list: the fantastic mojitos with which we closed out the night, hand-made by Mike's rugby teammate Pat. That's talent, right there.

 ***Just so you understand my excitement here: Cheetos may be my favorite edible item on this earth. Which makes them very, very dangerous for me: if I open a normal-sized bag by myself, I lose whole chunks of time to what I call the "Cheetos trance." Once that bag is open, a half-hour is suddenly gone, as is most of my bag of Cheetos, and I have zero recollection of the passing of either. My parents understand both my abiding love for this snack food, as well as my issue with it, and gave me a case of miniature bags for Christmas, thus providing me with my own culinary crack cocaine while saving me from it. It is no exaggeration when I say that it was probably the best. present. EVER. (Ooooh, and also, this last time we were in the US, we discovered jalapeno Cheetos. Dangerously delicious. Even Mike agrees on this one. Which probably means they'll be discontinued [thusly] when we go back at Christmas. That's how this stuff always goes.)✤

But I digress: NOW WE HAVE CHEETOS HERE. It's a big day for me.

Ok, so, I may have a bit of a jalapeno-flavored-snacks hang-up, as well.

****Although lack of editing did lead to my discovery of this sentence in the current book I'm reading: "General Pershing feared that the Japanese would replay the wonton sacking of Shanghai and Nanking in Singapore..." Terrible editing, or hilarious pun intentionally left intact by an editor with a positively genius sense of humor? I choose to believe the latter, thank you very much.

✤Like that one time waaaaaaay back in Pennsylvania, when Mike and I found this bag of seemingly-normal Cheetos puffs that claimed to turn your mouth Shrek green when you ate them (a promo for one of the movies, natürlich), and while they were their normal shade of atomic orange coming out of the bag, when you chewed them, they did as promised. THEY TURNED SHREK GREEN INSIDE YOUR MOUTH. It was terrifying and awesome all at the same time (chemically--how did they do that? will we get rare cancers later in life? could this have been some sort of dual hallucination induced by our pizza-heavy lifestyle? but more importantly, HOW DID THEY DO THAT??) and I desperately wanted some more after they were gone...but we only ever saw that one bag. Why, universe, why??
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