Again, foregoing any low-brow camping or hotel experiences, Mike booked us in possibly the most colonial/imperialist hotel we've stayed in, the Victoria Falls Hotel.** This place has become sorta the epitome of imperialist-early 20th century-British-safari-retreat ("colonial grandeur" is a phrase I read somewhere--very apt) despite its rather humble beginnings as temporary accommodations for workers on the Cape-to-Cairo railway in 1904. Because of the hotel's beautiful location and position convenient to the railway, tourist traffic from wealthy white people increased, and railroad execs decided to expand the place and make it permanent. Interestingly enough, the property on which the hotel sits still belongs to the National Railways of Zimbabwe.
Vast entrance lobby with these cool wooden kiosk-desks.
Absolutely insane double staircase in the entrance to the wing in which we found our room. I just couldn't get a decent photo of it--so extravagant!
And of course it was surrounded by three walls of trophy heads.
Part of the grounds, with a view to the bridge over the Zambezi, on the border between Zimbabwe and Zambia.
Inside, it's about as "British colonial safari" as you can imagine. (And of course, there was a guy playing piano in here each afternoon, regardless of how empty it was.)
Along one wall, there's this series of Vanity Fair portraits from the late 19th century; this one's of Mr. H.M. Stanley ("He found Livingstone.") (Pardon the angle...it was very reflecty in there.)
And, of course, a memento from the visit of Princesseses Elizabeth and Margaret in 1947. (This was especially fascinating to me, given how quickly [and how much!] we enjoyed 'The Crown' this fall.)
As it was a bit too late to go check out the falls, we decided to do something utterly ridiculous instead: we took a sunset cruise down the Zambezi river. And really, "sunset cruise" is just fancy-talk for "booze cruise," because people, let me tell you: one's glass was literally never empty--I walked away from my G&T a few times to take photos, and it had been magically refilled each time I came back!--and all drinks and plenty of snacks were included. (If one had self-control issues, one could really get into trouble on such a cruise. Thankfully, we knew how to pace ourselves and drank plenty of water as well. Another cruise-goer or two, not so much.) My love for a good G&T aside, my intention, actually, in signing up for such an activity, was to maybe see a few more water-based animals, and that worked out just fine.
Not the worst place to spend a sunset cruise...
The mighty Zambezi! It is pretty impressive, and, fun fact, is the 4th longest river in Africa. (Also, for a girl from the high desert, that's a really lot of water.)
Hippos! Ohhhhh, so many hippos! Although they were all hiding under the water, so really we just saw lots of eyes and snouts.
Then, the eagle-eyed staff on the boat pointed out these two elephants crossing the river--how exciting!
At first, we sentimental boat-goers thought the bigger elephant was helping the smaller one cross...but then a few of us figured out that this particular crossing was a little more romantic (ahem) than we had perhaps originally thought. (Haaaaaaah! Children, avert your eyes!)
No sentimentality for the elephants, though: once they got to the other side, they immediately went their separate ways.
A herd of cape buffalo on the bank. Sigh. From the boat, they just looked like cows. (Still hadn't seen any of these particularly clearly, and wouldn't. For whatever reason, these guys and the zebras eluded me almost entirely. Jerks.)
Hippos and more hippos. And just think, if these are the ones you can see, how many more are paddling around down there?? (I know that hippos are dangerous and aggressive, but all the ones we saw had absolutely zero interest in doing anything besides just floating around and giving us the side-eye.)
Big old crocodile, parked on the riverbank! We saw two of these. Really, I have no idea whether these actually are big ones, but for me, any crocodile is massive. (Again, I marvel at the ability of the people who work in these environments to spot these animals. Clearly, yes, they have a ton of practice, and they could be entirely blasé about seeing all of these creatures, but for the rest of us, it's crazy impressive and all kinds of exciting. I absolutely never, ever would have seen this thing, and suddenly the boat captain was steering us towards it and all of the bartenders were pointing it out to us. Amazing.)
Africa makes good again with the sunset.
I mean really.
Back on land, we caught an underwhelming dinner in the hotel's buffet restaurant, where the highlight of the evening was trying out fried crocodile. It's shockingly tasty.
And now, a rant about inflexibility, inconsistency, and hypocrisy. Ughhhhhh. Despite the Victoria Falls Hotel's claim that the dress code for their fancy restaurant is "smart casual"--which, in literally every other setting we've ever been in (and you know we've been in some top-tier ones), includes jeans--and that their website mentions nothing about jeans being forbidden (had it, he would have brought slacks! no biggie!), they still wouldn't let in Mike, in his nice button-down shirt, nice jeans, and nice shoes (i.e., probably dressed better than most of the people they did let in), and so we ended up in their other, buffet restaurant. (Shudder.) Where, ironically enough, the dress code was also "smart casual," but in this case, that apparently included sloppy t-shirts, shorts, flip-flops, bra straps, Birks, sweatpants, whatever. Honestly, what an absolute crock.
Ahem. We now return to your regularly-scheduled, not-as-bitter programming.
The next morning, we caught breakfast with some locals, and then it was off to our guided walk along the falls.
Local baboons, that is!
These guys are perennial residents here, it turns out, and while the staff tries halfheartedly to shoo them away, they are always around.
As are these guys--more warthogs! Who, even with their babies around, were completely unconcerned by our presence.
And then, to the falls! Saw these magical little blue-and-brown birds (blue waxbills)*** on the walk to our first stop:
This. Now imagine, if you will, when the water is higher, that the entire left side of this gorge is a waterfall. Because that's how it is during high flow!
Although it certainly wasn't a small waterfall at this particular moment--in fact, probably still the biggest I've seen in my life, even when it's mostly empty.
Thanks to the magic of the panorama setting on my phone, I present to you 180 degrees of Victoria Falls.
Even at low flow, the spray is astounding.
In fact, the spray is so consistently substantial that there's a perennial rainforest here. As in, there were ferns and climbing vines and tropical trees and everything was covered with falls spray, my glasses and camera lens included. (And yet, 30 meters in any direction it was basically arid scrub. Fantastic.)
A little falls, a little spray. (Might want to turn down your volume.)
View from the rainforest.
Also in the rainforest: the blood lilies were in bloom!
View from beside the Devil's Cataract, another part of the year-round falls that cranks through an awesome volume of water, even this time of year.
On the way out, a banyan tree!
Post-falls walk, we had a little time to kill, so we wandered around the grounds for a bit.
Oh, henlo.
Look how warthogs eat!!
The baby warthogs were all about action, but somehow I managed to get a shot of that one in the foreground standing stock-still. I love his tiny mane.
Baboon got himself a carob pod.
Gorgeous art gallery room inside the hotel.
Old trolley car used to ferry guests between the bridge and the hotel's boat house from 1920 through 1957.
Nifty sundial in the garden.
Next up, our bougiest activity yet:
Helicopter ride!! (I got to sit next to the pilot, wooooo!)
The falls from above. During high season, that would be a waterfall all the way from the Devil's Cataract (lower left) to the end of that rock wall at the upper right...
...or from the lower right to the upper left. Depending on which side you're on. (And all of those islands and trees and most of the ground would be entirely submerged.)
Gorges below the falls.
Underwater sand drifts in the Zambezi. The white lines through the tops of them are hippo tracks! (Our pilot also pointed out a large pod of hippos in the river, some elephants crossing it, and a couple more elephants in the scrub, but we were just too far up and moving too fast for me to get any photos. Dang.)
Back on the ground, we may have stopped by the patio bar (for the second time, ahem--what, they had a great cocktail menu!!), where I simply had to have this ridiculous concoction:
The "I Presume" cocktail, haaaaaaaah! I think the waiter was embarrassed to serve this to me, but just look at its gloriousness. (My first drink here was far more dignified, and something I desperately want to recreate at home: the Devil's Cataract, with mango puree, lime, a healthy shot of chile syrup, and vodka. Holy smokes, sooooo good.)
Afterwards, we got cleaned up for dinner and passed this little family (awwwwwww) on the way to board this beauty:
A steam train from 1924! We started with snacks and drinks while our host for the night told us all about the history of the train, the tracks, and that famous bridge over the Zambezi; then stopped on said bridge for photo opportunities all around; and finally headed to the dining car for dinner while we resumed our journey back towards the hotel (across the street from which one boards this train, how convenient is that??).
Mike had to check out the engineer's cabin. He got to pull the whistle, and even though I knew it was coming, I still jumped.
Exterior of the cars.
View from the Zambia/Zimbabwe bridge. (The Victoria Falls Hotel is the white building at the far end.)
Sign in the middle of the bridge...
...and its other side.
The gorgeous, restored dining car! (The bar here--with which we'd started, and which continued as wine service through dinner--was also alarmingly open.) Dinner was really good, but I didn't take notes; all I can tell you is that the first course was some sort of beet salad with candied things and feta cheese, and the main course was lamb...and everything was quite tasty. (And the service was absolutely impeccable, which is remarkable, given we were on a moving train.)
And with that, our adventures in Victoria Falls came to an end, and the next morning, it was time to move on to destination no. 3: Stellenbosch. Stay tuned.
*Well, probably tied for worst with high flow in the early part of the year, since the spray from the falls is so dense that you actually can't see the falls at all from the ground--only from the air. (And even then, the spray can rise up to a mile in the air!)
**With the possible exception of the Winter Palace in Luxor, from where Howard Carter announced his discovery of King Tut's tomb--that's hard to beat, although I think we probably tied it. Make no mistake, I am in no way in favor of Western colonialism or imperialism--heavens, no. Everything the West and the white man has done in Africa (well, and really any place that doesn't fall under the category of "the West"...) has caused decades', if not centuries', worth of damage, at the vast expense of, and with great tragedy for, the local peoples, and I abhor it. I just mean that we've stayed in these kinds of "colonial grandeur" places more than once, and while I appreciate their luxury and level of service (and hope desperately that they pay a living, dignified wage to their employees), I am aware at every single second of their oppressive histories, and of how stark the line between the haves and the have-nots can be. (The white guilt is strong with this one.)
***We were told that these little birdies let us get unusually close, and when I cracked a joke about them being able to tell that we're good people, our guide countered with, "You know, they say that if you can't raise pigeons, you're a witch. So you probably aren't witches." Awesome.
