weg mit dem speck!

Loosely translated: down with the fat cats.

Let me just start by saying that A), I'm about to wax extremely verbose, but the uniqueness of this this experience MUST be preserved; and B) my mother will hate this post. Sorry, Mom, but it's something I had to do just this once! And it wasn't that dangerous...

So this past Sunday was May Day, obviously. Apparently, if it falls on a weekday, then that weekday is an actual holiday, with people staying home from work; if it falls on a weekend, however, then TOUGH LUCK to all the working stiffs. I hear that that's how ALL holidays here, excepting Easter and Christmas, but even then, they can't be bothered to give days off next to the weekend...it just falls where it falls, and people can just deal with it. Not so sure I like THAT particular aspect of this city.

But I digress. For May Day in Zurich, there are usually two demonstrations held to protest against The Man, fat-cat bankers and politicians, the lack of an established minimum wage, capitalism AND socialism, and other labor-y issues. The first "demonstration"--the sanctioned, legal one--involves children and balloons and happy, silent marching, or so I'm told. The second--illegal, and, in past years, highly destructive--is the one that I attended. At least, from a distance. My friend Nanda lives in a third-story apartment on the street where some of the illegal protesting occurs, and since this was her first year in the city during the holiday (she usually goes on holiday), she decided to throw a riot barbecue. Of course I'm going to that! And of course, I arrived plenty early, so as to avoid all protesters and policemen on the street, and stayed late enough that it looked as though the whole thing never happened. While all of us BBQ-ers fully realize the danger, cost, and sometimes tragedy, involved in such events, I am happy to report that this year's riot was extremely small and relatively un-violent, comparatively speaking. The police clearly had this one firmly in hand, so...we went ahead and had ourselves a good time.

In past years, the May Day riots have included much bottle- and rock-throwing, breaking of snooty shop windows, Molotov cocktails (only a few, though...), and car burning. If you do an image search online, you can find LOTS of photos of this year's hoodlums being arrested and/or lobbing various items at giant lines of policemen, but where we were, there were just lots of policemen and very little lobbing. There were, however, homemade protest banners and tear gas (and guys kicking the tear gas cannisters BACK towards the police!) and rubber bullets and large, ominous crowds and heaps of crazy people down on the streets with cameras and giant canisters of pepper spray and TRUCKS WITH WATER CANNONS. Which were parked there primarily to look menacing, we have to assume, 'cause the only thing we saw them used for was putting out a rolling dumpster that someone set on fire. (Several of the news outlets say that they water cannons were used on the crowd; that must have been elsewhere, as I can tell you that the one parked near our building just sat there for several hours.) I realize that all of this sounds a bit dangerous, but there were actually cyclists, elderly people, and people pushing strollers, all still walking down the streets while this was going on. Combine that with the delicious barbecued meats that we had, the music we were blaring (Fight the Power!), and the one guy who came to the party with a top hat and a mask so that he and another reveler could dress as oppressor and oppressed, and you have one truly surreal and relatively unscary riot. (Turned out, Thomas, the guy who ended up with the top hat, is one hilarious dude, and kept [quietly] saying things like "Get back to work!" and "A champagne toast to your irrelevant riots." He was a natural.)

So. The "unscheduled" riots usually start when the legal protest finishes in Helvetziaplatz, and other "Black Bloc" protesters (illegally) block the tracks for all public transportation in Helvetziaplatz. The police, in full riot gear, attempt to put this to a stop, while other surly, masked rioters begin throwing bottles, rocks, etc., at the police and their extremely numerous vehicles. This year, the police blocked the platz first, forming a barrier around the entire thing with fenced vehicles and sheer numbers. While the crowds on the street were rather large, it seemed like they consisted mostly of spectators, with a few handfuls masked hoodlums in circulation throughout. (They were NOT terribly subtle, although I have to confess my admiration for this one guy who had an AMAZING arm and was throwing bottles at the armored vehicles from several blocks away...! One wonders how else he might use his talent, rather than chucking rocks.) The police were basically on the move the entire time, transferring riot cops and various vehicles as the riot moved around the neighborhood. At one point, our block was entirely barricaded in by lines of police, with the "safe zone" directly beneath us, and all rioting on the outside of the lines. Craziness. Eventually, it seemed like the police had set up firm perimeters and were just waiting for things to settle down, and then I left to go to the bathroom, and by the time I came out just a couple of minutes later, I kid you not, they were entirely gone and the street sweepers were ALREADY OUT to get rid of all traces of disorder. Pretty amazing stuff. And all the while, we were up on the balcony, playing our riot music, taking photos, and eating sausages. And after just about everyone else left, and Nanda talked me into staying by continuing to bring out delicious food and drink and saying (as I kept checking my phone to make sure I could still catch a bus home) "This isn't the last bus...", our party devolved into a small, old-school hip-hop dance party and cheese tasting. (Cheese provided by a delightful French guy named JB, who kept telling us all that we were insulting his people if we didn't eat the cheese. Turned out it was quite tasty and mellow; thence, no French persons were insulted.)

And now... my photos. (Don't worry, Mom: everything looks close because I zoomed in a lot. And when things WERE close, we all went back inside. We're not that dumb. And most of the real rioting was some distance away from us.)

This was what it looked like inside. Joel and I have the same camera.

Outside. Fenced vehicles and LOTS of riot police.

Hoodies putting up a homemade banner across the street.

"Kreis 4 without fascists, yuppies, police". (Although I did notice that if you ever-so-slightly altered the Y, it would say "puppies." Just pointing that out.)

Water cannon truck!

Did I mention LOTS of police? This is two sides of Helvetiaplatz, where they had the whole thing surrounded.

...and later, the fence trucks were there, too.

Not-so-subtle mischief makers. I like the one who thinks he's in Mortal Kombat.

Yup, that's a rubber bullet gun.

...and there's a guy walking down the street eating pizza. Just another Mai Tage on the Langstrasse.

Could these guys possibly be talking about throwing something? Maybe at some police?

I had no control over it, but THIS is what we were blaring off of our balcony. Amongst many other riot-facilitating songs. (A little Rage Against the Machine, anyone?) 

Inside...Bjorn, Joel, JB, Yvonne, Thomas. (I borrowed the "speck" line from Joel's t-shirt. He's also the one who brought the mask and the top hat.)

...outside. Yup, that is tear gas.

Dumpsters on the move! They were using these as shields, rather unsuccessfully.

Someone lit this one on fire.

And then this block is entirely cut off by riot police. The black uniforms are now at the far end, with more fence trucks. By this time, the trams are back up and running on Helvetziaplatz.

And just so you know, Mom: we weren't the only spectators. The balconies and terraces of the entire STREET were filled with onlookers. (Here, the VIPs in the next balcony over, booing the undercover police.)

And that, folks, was my first first-hand riot experience. I was very happy to be NOT involved, and am happy now to report that this year's riots were relatively tame and un-damage-y, in the grand scope of things. 

Sadly, no photos exist of the after-riot street sweepers or dance party. Suffice it to say that the streets were quite clean, and that we heard some true oldies and had some good laughs and ate some good cheese. 

What.

A.

Weekend.  

And Mike comes home on Thursday! Wooooooooo!